Tuesday, December 07, 2010
/ 10:41 AM
needa clear the thoughts from my head. it seems like when i think positive thoughts they're immediately drowned by negative ones.
i need to escape to somewhere, some place of fiction, some place where no one can see me, where no one knows me.
yet i know i'll miss this place.
argh just need some time alone to cry? i guess that's the only way to let my emotions escape without burdening myself any further.
i don't think there's any need for me to update on events, cos i've found another way of keeping track. (photos, neoprints, mementos, flyers, brochures, papers)
so this place will just be for my emotions / thoughts. :)
been a hectic week of being w people, seems like i really need time alone. not even talking w my family helps i think.
i really dno what's wrong w me.
God i really need your Word but i'm too lethargic to do anyth anymore. i sleep more than 10hours a day and still am tired. it feels like i'm living in this abyss, i don't even have the motivation to reach out for my dreams.
and it does feel that i'm straying further from You yet i really don't want that to happen.
please speak to me, guide me to what is right.
i think i need a sidekick to talk to, about my deepest darkest secrets, emotions, etc.
how to go beyond the superficial?
ohwell i hope it's just my moodswings. urgh hate this feeling.
yeah but nothing will stop me from loving You, that's for certain. still trying hard to trust people more but i guess that's a scar that'll last for quite a while more. but i think i'm making improvements :)
WFL prompted me to start thinking about how i've changed for the better aft knowing God, and i'm still compiling the list in my head haha. hopefully each day there'll be smth more to add to the list!
note to self: fasting from youtube except for worship songs!
lastly, thank You for all the little surprises and instances of love in my life!
okay, now for hectic Dec. schedules packed ttm. that really wasn't how i imagined post A's to be! but i'll persevere :)
music on klove heals me. cos it's music for Your people and for You.
Your body’s the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because You traded Your life for mine
Labels: busy, God, reflection, sad, sian
Thursday, October 14, 2010
/ 6:43 PM
lack of food has its way of getting to me. i feel like i just fasted. hmm. time to do some self-reflection, since nothing. is. going. into. my brain. (i hope it kicks start again soon) and I SHOULD STOP WASTING TIME.
haha but yeah shall post smth heart-felt, i wanna blog about it before i forget. this marks some kinda milestone/impt stage in my life okay!
here goes..
have really changed a lot these 4 years. i think it was the most drastic change that ever happened to me.
i've become much, much more reserved.
sometimes it feels torturous, as if smth's tearing out at you and you wanna just let yourself loose with no reservations. but i controlled myself. controlled my emotions.
i guess it's refreshing in some kinda way :)
haha those who knew me from my sec3 days, i'm really sorry :P
used to be this freaking annoying person who talked without thinking; hurt others without knowing and laughed without any reservations whatsoever.
hate the arrogant self i was 2 years ago. omg how i abhor myself.
hee but haveta admit those 2 years were the best of my life. NOT cos of my hurting others okay! (rest assured) but cos i got to know some of the most amazing people ever. :) though we've drifted apart, those were some of the most memorable times of my life ^^ they'll be with me forever.
and though i now have fewer friends to hang arnd with, those who stuck by me are the people who really care. they do not judge by my flaws. they stick by me in times of thick or thin. though they do have their flaws, i'm so much more flawed than them and i still love them really very much. :) thank you, all you lovely people!
to those who're running this final lap! please do hang in there and take care of your health, drink loadsa water (cliche advice yeah i know) and eat fruits, study hard! YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
LET'S PLAY HARD AFT WE SURVIVE THESE TUMULTUOUS TIMES! :)
doubt anyone's reading, but just in case! fate has a way of working things out at the right time.
Labels: bad day, busy
Saturday, August 15, 2009
I'm holding on to something and I did not know why / 11:22 AM
A lil update here.
For the whole week i've been occupied with studying, Publications which I doubt matters, mugging in library, and stuff.
rahhh.
1. Change of classroom to Learning Centre! Kinda guilty to the people who need it, but it's really a great studying environment, I love it :)
2. Been sleeping at 12+ for the whole week. I've got to get used to it. (sleep dependent)
3. Publications was okay, still dragging everything. Linda send me the headings PLEASEEEEEE.
4. Spirits Play yesterday. Was okay, not what I expected but still okay. I like the different languages layering into each other, a mixture of sounds, a rhythm of melodies (does this even make sense?) And the scares! They used the first sentence of the Bible in the last sentence of the Play. It was smth impactful, the start of something being the end of another, I wonder what that means. Is the director/scriptwriter against, or for religion?
5. Studied with Olivia at library before setting off on the bus. LOL I can't really study when eating and w her around :D
6. Wedding dinner tonight, chionging all my stuff now, argh.
7. PW tmr! which means no time for me to do Math revision, econs hw, CLL ws (two of them) + corrections, GP test! OMG. ARGH.
8. I MISSED CENTERSTAGE WTH. I NEED TO SEE CLIPS OF IT DESPERATELY.
CONGRATS TO ALL WINNERS! (XINQIAN + XINGQI, BENSIM + AMY) ESPECIALLY LIYANG + YUJIE! LOVE YALL! KNEW YOU'D WIN :)
Okay gonna start work now, tata! Be back at end of Promos unless something crops up.
P.S. CLASS POTLUCK, STILL THINKING OF IT, HAHAHA. FUNNY PICS ON FB :)
Replies!
karmen: hellooooooooo! thank you for coming!
zt: hehehe yes i know, i have other priorities i guess. :( this is just hectic.
xiuli: hahah i think so too! it used to be a daily kind of thing, but arh, impossible now. :(
Labels: busy, photo series
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even / 11:01 PM
CIP today fun fun fun! LOL made me see the better part of humans. Compassion and kindness :) And it made me realise I really wanna work teaching children next time. Prob as voluntary work? Dunno lah.
I wish all CIPs in the future can be like this. On the way home the bus ride was so relaxing, and I realised the richrich houses in Toa Payoh are freaking big. I think I saw my dream house O:
MONDAY BLUES SETTING IN. Plus hw and tests to be done.
Mon: ECONS TEST + GP ESSAY + Publ interview + return DSLR
Tue-Fri: Copy notes 5 times + csc essay + loads of other hw + csc research
Lugging something heavy to sch tmr. Ohwell but the above 55mm was superb :D Took photos I've never taken before with a digital cam. :)
Passing through unconscious states
When I awoke
I was on the high(way)
Labels: busy, cip, love, photo series
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Crimson and clover, over and over / 2:23 PM
Just a short post here, rushing off for independent math. :( And econs. And GP essay. Then, I think I'm done. Have to copy 5 sets of notes which are 5-7 pages each. :( And I'm gonna owe a CSC essay, don't care lah.
Was awoken with the best wake up call at 7am this morn. PWNAGE. :( I'm truly, absolutely disgusted.
Wheeeeeeee I love DSLRs. Wish it was lighter :) So I don't have to die lugging it back to sch. And it's kinda tiring taking pics from the top (such as flowers etc), I just realised.
LOL, April fools' was nothing special for me, except maybe the very nice prank we played on Ms/Mdm Alicia Ng. :) Sho sweet lah liren 'proposed' to her, LOL. With a ring-cup (I think the class bought). Plus the balloon matched her dress colour that day too! :)
Hmm I forgot what I wanted to post. Ah well. School's busy as ever, with workload impossible to complete and I keep putting things off due to my lousy prioritising skills/ time management, I don't know which. :(
MASS PHOTOTAKING OF BOKEH LIGHTS LATER. I hope I can do it. :)
There has been a lack of smileys such as :D.
I don't know why.
I love meeting friends in school in the circular garden. :D
I love Jimmy Eat World :D
I'm trying to stay cheerful. :D
There.
And why'm I here?
P.S. Listen to my playlist for a little while more, and you'll find surprises.
wenyi: Yep saw it ages ago on my friend's profile :D
xiuli: Go away you video-stealer! :) And yes it was hell, I decided. Why you dump me online?! Hurmph now I can't talk to you.
Labels: busy, happy, photo series
Sunday, March 22, 2009
/ 4:59 PM
UBER BUSY. To the max. But at least got to go out with my family ytd :) OMG Funan food court rocks :) Love the ambience wheeee especially no one else is around (except for two couples ahem).
Went to take pics of the Stamford Raffles statue for photog -.- The weather was so superb, drizzly rainy :D Passed by vch on the way to Boat Quay, and saw people handing out balloons. Bleh orange ones were all taken :( Anyway omg I love Boat Quay gonna work there (heard there are jobs nearby such as advertising companies :D) Really romantic place :D
Okay so my family is uber funny and crappy hahaha.
On a sidenote,
Let me list out the stuff I have to do by next week.
Today: STUDY MATH AND CSC
Mon: Chiong CSC essay, complete econs notes
Tues: Do Chi compre and shouzha
Wed: Study econs!
Thurs: Study CSC?
Fri: Prob some last-min hw that I still don't know now and PWPWPPWWPW OMG.
BLEH. X(
Btw met manda online at 1am, LOL. I realise my efficiency is at its highest point from 10-1, zomg. Crazy right.
wenyi: Thanks! :)
Labels: busy, fun, photo series
Sunday, March 01, 2009
/ 12:16 PM
OMGGGGGGGG, THE HORROR.
I might have to do an endoscopy test soon ARGHHH! Wth! I can't imagine having a tube in my throat all the way to my stomach! OMG ever since like 10 years ago when I had asthma, I have a phobia of having things through my throat :(
HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW.
Okay lemme list the stuffs i have to do today.
1. GP JOURNALS (at least 2)
Pwned.
2. Urm, loads of other stuff that I'm lazy to list out.
I'm very unsettled now.
xiuli: They're both food thieves! :( Eh and how you know I'm slower than WY leh! I type quite fast one hor! Eh really the police super fierce. Tell you next time. :(
wenyi: -.- pfft. Go buy go buy! If I tell my mum that she'll kill me hahaha.
Labels: busy, frustrated
Friday, January 23, 2009
Sick of your silly lies / 6:04 PM
Gosh so many days didn't post and I've got so much to rmb. These days were crazy man.
My buddy returned to Nanjing today. I guess I won't get to see her anymore. I think I'm kinda missing her cos now no one can come home with me even if it's as late as 11pm every day. :( Even though she pisses me off sometimes with some trivial stuff, I'm lucky to have her as a buddy cos she's really nice! (she helped me carry my econs book fm sch to parkway and home even though I rejected)
And the CNY card she gave is really touching :'( I feel guilty for seeing 20+ mozzie bites on her. I still wonder if I treated her good enough. Cos she really made me feel so at home in Nanjing. I didn't even miss my family much hahaha.
Okay enough emo stuff. Anyway after east coast I think we went Sentosa on Tues.
20
We missed lessons starting fm 12pm. Took a bus and cable car to Sentosa :D I haven't been there for almost 3 years. HAHAHA Mich was scared by a guy outside the cable car when it stopped. Very hilaroius :D We sat on Skytower and went Merlion and Underwater world and Skyride and Luge! (all of which I never went before) Skytower was nice cos could take loadsa pics but I didn't bring my cam so I used JJ's (thanks girl!)
Merlion was tiring, kept climbing stairs/taking lifts/walking around. + We went to some heritage exhibition which was darn scary I ended up not daring to look the exhibits in the eye cos I scared they're real people. This malay guy scared a lot of ppl fm my sch cos he totally looked robotic! Then he sudd jumped omg scary. + We also asked a Malay couple to scare the ppl behind :D Kinda fun ahha.
Underwater world! I touched fishes and stingrays :D And the jellyfish was so chio lah esp when the light turned orange :D Took a photo with them. + The fishes are damn cute and a dunno what animal called Gracie was 11 years old haha and they decorated the place with balloons, wonder how.
Skyride was crazy man I had my picture taken at the top (some auto thing) while covering my eyes! hahaha. Seriously very scary leh esp when there're no trees below + having your feet dangling and not secured by harness and scared that your wallet/hp/shoes will drop down O: I'm hopeless at heights.
The luge made me feel like an F1 driver! :) And also like a bunch of sold meat (according to my buddy) cos they chopped a LUGE sign on our hand.
Saw the Songs of the Sea performance hahaha lame storyline but great effects such as laser lights (a bit the glaring -.-) and fireworks and waterrrrrrrr with images :D A bit similar to the Forefathers performance we saw earlier too. (Mich screamed at the lightning haha) Didn't take photos but nvm I'll rmb it :D
Was realllllly tiring. Got home at 11+ 12pm. But it's considered the first time I've been there since the only place I went was Siloso Beach -.-
21
I think we went TM/Century Sq. Okay I'm too tired so update another day!
[edit on 27]
We ate at CS! I bought chicken pasta or dunno whassitcalled. It's super nice and cheeeesy :D I think Mich's buddy was kinda jealous cos she loves cheese. After that we shopped around, went TM after that and our buddies bought some CNY stuff. There was a really cute shop but I forgot the name :( Loads of cute stickers + stuff :D
But due to time constraints, couldn't walk the whole of TM so we went to the shops near the interchange. My buddy bought stuffs like a Kakashi soft toy. :D
22
We went parkway after our buddies returned from City Tour! They were complaining that they didn't go Orchard Road and wanted us to bring them there. O_O I wanted to faint. It's so freaking far and I think travel time alone takes 1.5 hours. + they returned to sch at 6. Win liao. Haha after that heard from someone ST wanted to go parkway, so I suggested there since it's nearer + things are cheaper.
Ended up only me and Mich went. Took 196 with Jesmine and we spent quite a while deciding where to eat since our buddies wanted Western food (kinda surprised). KFC! Ordered cheese fries for me + my buddy and she ordered Chicky Meal cos she wanted the toy (some famous cartoon in China). Then had one drink leftover and I carried it all the way home.
Shopping! I like the InQBox (or dunno what) shop I wanna go there sometime again! Cos didn't step in as I had 2 drinks to carry -.- Our buddies bought souvenirs fm another shop which I think is v nice :D
My buddy wanted to buy a cute pencilcase but couldn't find. In the end I gave her one that I bought a while ago. Hope she liked it :D
23
Sent her to the airport. :( I hope we'll still keep in touch. Haha then that day was feeling really tired and couldn't conc during CSC, wth it really was HELL leh. Cos CLL took up our lunch + was feeling super tired from only 4 hours of sleep + no lunch!
And CCA in Chinatown was cancelled cos Mr Hong's son was sick. :'( + I stayed back in sch for nothing.
CNY post up next! Tag replies too.
[/edit]
Replies to tags!
jingqi: Hi hi yes yes :D yeah I like the girl + the guitar part hahah :D
xiuhan: Whoa you wrote the novel ah? Is it the one you told me about in Sec 3/4? The funny korean drama thing -.-
van: Haha I'm fine sorry for not posting often yeah? Sigh our free periods are never the same + must hang out with year 5 class mah. Nevermind we can organise outings!
wenyi: No lah zebras don't have pink legs -.- You're a cross of baboon + tiger balm tiger lah haha.
Labels: busy, fun, outing, tired
Sunday, January 18, 2009
funfunfun / 6:42 PM
Something really random: the phrase "The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog" has every letter in the alphabet except the letter S. Or maybe it's supposed to be jumps instead of jumped, then it can make sense.
Tired and busywusy! Gonna suffocate.
Whoa a series of busy events. Orientation + hosting + school. And I'm really confused about sch stuff like the notes + GC aka graphic cal cos I DUNNO IF I SHOULD BUY I'M TAKING H1!
17
Hosting was fun so far. :D Went to the zoo + night safari and took loads of photos! The butterflies in the Fragile Forest were so pretty! The spiders were freaking disgusting though. Michelle is super lame but lucky I had her to keep me cool throughout the hot day :D I shall give you the scenario:
The White Tigers were lazing about the rocks and one started circling around the front.
Me: OMG stupid AA tiger.
(tiger starts going back)
Me: ARGH why it go back?
Mich: Aiyah it went to take its swimming trunks + sunblock! So white must put sunblock mah if not chaota (smth along that line)
LOL!
On the night tram my bottle leaked then I quickly aired it hahaha and stupid wy called me a zebra! Cos I was wearing b&w striped tee :( I started freaking out and imagining if the hyenas + lions + tigers would eat me.
And I saw this signboard of the Malayan Tigers which says 'adopted by Tiger Balm' and laughed for 10 mins straight LOL.
Waited for eons at the bus stop. Why is 30 so lag T_T Hahaha my buddy's friend bought a kennel thing with a lot of plushies inside for 49SGD! Then they were laughing about it saying how wasteful she was lol! Saw a lot of ppl there meanwhile.
18
Beachie weachie :D and TEOHENG HAHAHAHA.
Okay edit this sometime I'm going out again!
[edit on 23]
We dragged for 1hr ++ and ended up going to east coast macs to eat -.- Spent most of the time in macs cos our buddies can't stop eating! HAHHA. I laughed darn hard again at the Tiger Balm incident and YS is so lag :D
Ended up changed plans to go teoheng instead of spending one whole day at the beach. We took loads of jump shots at the shore :D And I look like I'm levitating -.-
Lol st + ys's buddies' song tastes are weird esp the 张国荣 songs. And the MV is darn hilarious HAHAHHA. Michelle's buddy can really sing :D My buddy didn't sing much bah but she's crazy over Jay chou.
Yep walked quite a while to and from east coast cos needa take bus etc. But was fun! I still have to send them the photos! (zoo + east coast)
[/edit]
Labels: busy, ecp
Friday, July 04, 2008
Straight heart breaker, but it really don't matter / 3:53 PM
HAPPY YOUTH DAY + INDEPENDENCE DAY! HAHAHA.
first thing in the morning kena shocked by mr lim telling me to go 4A. i thought i offended him cos ytd i asked if we could interview him but forgot to say thanks -.- ended up to be a survey for humanities & arts (like the chi survey some jeremians did a few days ago)
win liao lor. i almost died from a heart attack before that can.
after the survey was carnival time! but as usual was too lazy to go see the people play games hahaha. so slacked in the canteen + eat LOL. and there was a booth selling cute stickers hahaha but i couldn't find a cute tigger one if not i'd consider (maybe lah haha)
then zt came and we went around taking pics and scaring people! (who are camera shy) but to no avail. instead we took minimalistic photos and ttg and the parade sq (but my wonky camera deleted them all, only left the berry berry b&w photos) *CRY/MOAN*
the concert was berry berry kewl! and kinda hiphop overload cos like got two performances and quite long heheh. didnt take vids/photos haha. but the first dance was very good and the moves are unique. then got one move like re-living the old bhangra dance times (which they swung people on necks). gosh i love the sliding move it's damn cool i think zenn has been trying to master it for ages (or has alr did) haha.
encore 4G dance from the campfire night :D and teachers dancing + playing as a band. and year 4 band with chaoyuan as lead singer lol. hmm not bad lah much much much better than david mars that damn _. LOL. and yes as usual i loved the drums :D
to all performers/teachers/those who contributed to today in one way or another, thanks for putting up a great concert and esp the teachers
i bet they feel humiliated performing in front of us LOL. thanks a lot! it was great.
after the concert we went to interview mr lim at the TA office lab there. haha shit i think the angle a bit wrong :S but should be using more of the other angle. blah stupid. this time really have to put subtitles cos no mike T_T thanks mr lim! hahaha he keep giving
too professional advice like must have lighting equipment, tripod, whatever. erm lighting equipment? we're not mediacorp leh T_T
so everything's kinda settled for now (or NOT). chem article, chem test, LA test, LA film, chi ws, chi performance (zomg two of each subject). that's all i hopeeeeee.
Labels: busy, concert, happy
Just a short post here, rushing off for independent math. :( And econs. And GP essay. Then, I think I'm done. Have to copy 5 sets of notes which are 5-7 pages each. :( And I'm gonna owe a CSC essay, don't care lah.
