needa clear the thoughts from my head. it seems like when i think positive thoughts they're immediately drowned by negative ones.
i need to escape to somewhere, some place of fiction, some place where no one can see me, where no one knows me.
yet i know i'll miss this place.
argh just need some time alone to cry? i guess that's the only way to let my emotions escape without burdening myself any further.
i don't think there's any need for me to update on events, cos i've found another way of keeping track. (photos, neoprints, mementos, flyers, brochures, papers)
so this place will just be for my emotions / thoughts. :)
been a hectic week of being w people, seems like i really need time alone. not even talking w my family helps i think.
i really dno what's wrong w me.
God i really need your Word but i'm too lethargic to do anyth anymore. i sleep more than 10hours a day and still am tired. it feels like i'm living in this abyss, i don't even have the motivation to reach out for my dreams.
and it does feel that i'm straying further from You yet i really don't want that to happen.
please speak to me, guide me to what is right.
i think i need a sidekick to talk to, about my deepest darkest secrets, emotions, etc.
how to go beyond the superficial?
ohwell i hope it's just my moodswings. urgh hate this feeling.
yeah but nothing will stop me from loving You, that's for certain. still trying hard to trust people more but i guess that's a scar that'll last for quite a while more. but i think i'm making improvements :)
WFL prompted me to start thinking about how i've changed for the better aft knowing God, and i'm still compiling the list in my head haha. hopefully each day there'll be smth more to add to the list!
note to self: fasting from youtube except for worship songs!
lastly, thank You for all the little surprises and instances of love in my life!
okay, now for hectic Dec. schedules packed ttm. that really wasn't how i imagined post A's to be! but i'll persevere :)
music on klove heals me. cos it's music for Your people and for You.

Your body’s the bread, Your blood is the wine
Because You traded Your life for mine

Labels: busy, God, reflection, sad, sian

Been feeling down these few days. Wanted to go out but didn't have the energy to, wanted to do a lot of things but my energy level has been low these few days. Grahhh. (I swear it's not an excuse for being lazy)

Okay, I'm back to trying to type in caps. Hope I'll get used to it (: Eh I really wanna learn how to blog with emoticons argh. Saw some really cute ones hurhur. And I feel like changing my blogskin even though I promised it won't budge for months ): Saw a real cute polaroid one, omg I just can't get enough of polaroids I WANT A POLAROID ARGH.

Tata for now, maybe shall try to change the blogskin image and credit my saint (:

[edit]

Humdeedums. I found some lovely polaroids on flickr so decided to use them. Eh I got credit okay! :D But the layout still looks quite screwed ): I dunno how to lengthen the nav box. Helllllp! (but for now I'll just leave it like that -.-)

Gonna eat pizza! And shop + phototrip (hopefully) tmr (:

[/edit]

Labels: sad, sian, tired

POST 480!

so many sad things happened recently. china's 7.9 earthquake was disastrous and mr sng dedicated one whole flag-raising to ask us donate cheques and stuff. and two ppl who were from sichuan came onstage to talk. it's very sad, i hear until almost wanna cry.

and ziyu has left. i dunno how 4j will be like without him lah, even though he's always late and for half the mornings he's not there. but now it's like he's permanently stuck in florida, and we won't get to see him anymore unless he really comes over during the holidays. which is quite unlikely. ):

i don't know whether he seen my sms at 10 ytd. take care, continue to rock on with your breaking dancing and handstands, and rmb that we all love you (: rmb that a part of 4j is always with you okay!

started our drosophila electives again. it's the scientific name for fruit flies -.- and i can't rmb the full name lah. oops, haha. i didn't know it was about fruit flies, i thought just flies in general. cos i love the eyes of houseflies. (:

blog-hopped a little, saw a lot of other strangers' blogs. haha. and i saw xx's post! which means she posted during her elective, haha imba (:

aiyah basically it was just quite sian lah. every day's sian. i bet hols will be even sianner. so much revision to do, can't go out. argh i want my AF darlings and vj concert! manda can we meet up to buy your tickets pretty please! i miss you oh-so-much haha and i can't wait to see you gwen and wanqing (:

btw i screwed up my hair. i told the hairdresser to layer my hair, and she went to snip off my fringe, dammit.

;
when will i ever get out of this vicious cycle? my wounds start to heal and i start to forget, then you come along to remind me of the ugly past. can this just come to an end?

But I ain't giving up quite yet,
I've got too much to lose

Labels: emo, sad, sian

alright. one test down, one to go. i really really wanna pass it ): i will pass it with all my might.

ben & jerry's giving out free ice cream! but it's all the way at downtown east so i shant waste energy haha. they really too much ice cream. like 6 hours of icecream-giving?

hmm today morn i was in a bad mood cos tuesday blues mah. i dont have monday blues, weird right? it's only on Tweaky Tuesdays and Freaky Fridays. then first before recess 4 periods of lab lessons, zzz.

ace was funny! we had proper lessons again. then were discussing about UN stuff. they really love to use acronyms lah, FAO, UNICEF, UNDP, UNHCR etc. then we were like guessing for all the acronyms. FAO = food and oil, UNICEF samuel the imba knew the ans cos it was on the football tee. UNDP = u no display pic/UN develop poverty, UNHCR = UN high commissioner for russians, lol.

and winston churchill actually suffered from depression! oh my, i didnt know judging from how popular the peace sign is now, and you all know how happy the peace sign is right? (:

long day, zzz. bsp was funny also, i learn quite a lot from it, surprisingly. :O and it ends at 415 every week, i'm trying to feel optimistic about it.

today's just not my day.

LEVELLLLLLLL CAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP, WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
please dont keel me though.

BIO QUIZ, I MUST DISPERSE MYSELF ALR. tata for now!

Labels: funny, sian