i'm tired of struggling with myself. escaping into fiction.
i know better than to waste my life away like this, especially since it's the last few months i can spend w my family and friends.
but i'm just so let down by humanity. fallible beings.
all this feels like a fabricated lie.
my faith seems to be drowning.

unknown phobias, lurking dangerously around the corner, illuminated by our consciousness.
masks which we create and delicately add layer by layer so no one can possibly peer beneath - the grotesque closeness.
hands entangled in massive obsessive webs; so busy being involved to notice they have been entrapped, deeper and deeper until there's no turning back, until a self-fulfilling prison is built brick by brick.
i hate that i'm succumbing to all this (or will, in no time). i hate the practicality of all this. but this is life, just not the life i want.

i will fight you. no matter how unsure i am of myself, i will. step by step, He'll guide me.