blogged this in microsoft words, so please switch the encoding to unicode, else it'd be very irritating, thanks.
My life’s turning haywire. I don’t find any meaning in life anymore. Maybe zt’s right. If I leave this place to an isolated island (with food), I’d probably not miss anything at all except my parents and friends. I guess that’s the only reason I’m still in this world for.
Not even the computer satisfies me now. Friendster, msn, blogs, they’re all just freaking facades. Just a veil which idiots can pull over themselves, where geeks can show off, be content of, be ego, be whoever they are actually not in real life. What’s so good about that? To think I actually spent hours on the com in the past, obsessing over my friendster profile & comments, glancing at the people on msn, even blogging long ohmygosh posts every single day just to show others how amazing my life was. But what’s the freaking use? You’re still you, and friendster, msn & blogs can’t change you. No use getting so excited over fake things, things which are so abstract, things which you know aren’t true at all.
I need to find some way to get my feelings out. I need to find a medium to make myself worthy in this world. I need to find a place for myself in this world. “You just need to find a voice, a medium to represent yourself. After this, you no longer need to think about leaving this world, because life is always meaningful with your voice. Its the one thing no one can take away.” Where is that voice?
Maybe photography. But I won’t succeed just by taking random candid shots/scenery shots. Maybe language, but for god’s sake my language has gone down the drain after primary school due to lack of practice! & for Pete’s sake I can’t write! there goes my ambition of being a journalist/editor.
Maybe medicines, biology or even chem? I don’t know, & I never will I suppose.
P.S. But don't worry about me, this is just a fretting session for me. i'll make up my mind soon i think. & what's the worry, things will just fit in place if i don't think too much about it. i hope.
