yay i'm so very elated! my modem finally revived. i dunno by who, but definitely after tons of calling the repairman /singtel man whatever (: dunno waste how much tel bills. sigh dunno what's wrong with it.

the prev post was the one i typed in words doc. yeah.

a summary of what happened this week (not in any order) :

-we did a piggy noticeboard! and the maple leaves rock man. (:
- on vday aka friendship day everyone was high & gave everyone presents in the morn (:
- today the girls were given alarms to keep flashers off (: then everyone was testing it. (girls AND guys) for my class it's the guys -.-
- everyone passing cny food arnd. pineapple tarts, choco flakes, chocos etc (:
- was uber pissed & depressed after geog. cos of some stupid talkative moron who doesn't appreciate the hard work people do.
- watched vid during cme. bombarded with chengyus. seriously more than 40x4 cheem words lah.
- atomic bomb in week 9. five tests! X.x
- weijia accidentally cut a $10 note into 3 with a pair of scissors! no joke man. nice piece of art though. then we found 2 more angbaos with $10 inside, which went into class fund. gosh whoever donated that angbao will be damn sad.
- watched a movie on slavery. omg it was so freaking cruel! slaves were tortured like whipping etc, slept in a boat which was so crammed, & a woman gave birth there then died afterwards! then they were all naked & those who were sick/weak were tied to rocks & drowned. gosh i cried lah. ):

can't really rmb anyth else. we finished watching empire of the sun during LA. i was so filled with mixed emotions lah. disgusted by the blood&injuries&war, sad, touched etcetc. i cried twice -.- first when jim said he couldn't rmb what his mum looked like, and of course at the last part.

don't really know why but i tend to cry easily these few weeks. have i become fragile? have i changed? sometimes i felt as if the world was cutting into my heart, but i chose to be apathetic. i chose to ignore all the things that hurt.

it's really very painful. how i wish i wasn't like this. but often, we can't change the way we are.

why did i say i didn't mind? i anticipated it so much. the first time i didn't get the chance, it hurt. the second time, it hurt even more. it was the feeling that sth was given to me and i was so close to having it. & just at this time, it's snatched away from me.

maybe it's a good thing. maybe i don't have to worry too much this way. about how others would see me. about what i did & whether i was successful.